FBI Can’t Find Hackers Because Most Smoke Weed

It is widely known some companies and agencies struggle to find the right workers for the job. In the case of the FBI, however, that problem seems to be a lot bigger than most people think. Finding the right hacker to hire is extremely difficult since most smoke weed. Considering how Silicon Valley tech wizards also microdose on LSD, psychedelics seem to be a popular choice for computer scientists.

Smoking Pot Means No Job With The FBI

The FBI is always looking for black hat hackers willing to use their mad skills for the greater good. With the list of famous hackers growing every single year, one would assume there no shortage of potential new employees. Unfortunately, things are not exactly as straightforward as people might think. The vast majority of these black hat hackers have no chance of landing an FBI job, due to their recreational use of marijuana.

Cybersecurity experts are not that easy to come by, and the best people in the business often come with an emotional package to take into account. Quite a few of these experts test positive for marijuana use, which effectively means they cannot join the FBI. After all, the Bureau instated drug-testing policies some time ago, which is not working in their favor by any means.

Letting government hackers get high during business hours is not a course of action the FBI is willing to take anytime soon. Furthermore, if would be quite ironic for the federal agency to condone drug usage against which they fight so hard.

Keeping in mind how the US Congress is forcing the FBI to hire more people on a yearly basis, an intriguing situation is created. With a large pool of skilled hackers who like to get stoned and a no-drug policy, it is virtually impossible to find  a workable solution. Relaxing the hiring restrictions for marijuana would make a lot of sense, although that is not going to happen. Cyber security experts need something to take the edge off, as the job is a lot more stressful than most people think.

It would be quite interesting to see the US government completely legalize marijuana moving forward. Right now, marijuana is listed as a Schedule I drug, making it one of the more dangerous and addictive intoxicants in the country. Then again, it also helps calm people’s nerves, has many medical applications, and simply boosts the productivity of cybersecurity experts, by the look of things. That said, there are quite a few politicians who continue to oppose the legalization of marijuana.

Marijuana is perhaps the least of concerns when it comes to hiring cybersecurity experts, though. Over in Silicon Valley, a new trend has emerged since 2015. Various tech giant employees rely on daily microdoses of LSD to be productive and provide a much-needed energy lift. In some cases, such a small dose of LSD may provide new insights. Interestingly enough, such a small dose does not incur a “trip”, thus it seemingly has no negative side effects.

It is evident using caffeinated drinks is no longer sufficient for a lot of people active in the tech industry. Even energy drinks no longer do the job, for some reason. People have become so accustomed to flooding their body with caffeine they are moving on to “stronger” stuff. Marijuana and microdoses of LSD may only be a sign of what the future will hold for the technology sector. On the other hand, it is good to see the geniuses of tomorrow are not swallowing pills by the bottle.

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